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It’s like that line in Go Fish. She’s out there. Somewhere. And your job is to find her, no matter how hard you have to look or how unlike your “ideal woman” she may seem once you finally come across her. She’s out there, just waiting for you to find her. And here’s how you’re going to do it.
DO let it be known that you’re looking. You have to believe, in true-blue lesbian fashion, that “putting it out there in the universe” will somehow pay off eventually. And DO be prepared to stretch your boundaries a bit, especially if you’ve convinced yourself that you’re looking for a “type” and no one else will do. But DON’T think that we’d advise you to settle for just anyone.
DON’T delude yourself into thinking that those three little words you long to say should be “OK, you’ll do” instead of “I love you.” DO ask your friends to introduce you to someone new. But DON’T let them tell both of you that you’re being matched up. Blind dates work best when only one party knows what’s really going on. The other can think she just happened to meet a really nice girl at a get-together among friends. DON’T overlook those old-fashioned opportunities for meeting someone new, either. Join a book group, organize a hike for the gay and lesbian organization at work, volunteer at the animal shelter — you get the idea.
DON’T assume she’s straight simply because of how she looks. (But if she is, DON’T torture yourself by pining over someone who is just not interested in being with you in “that way.”) When you finally meet someone you’re interested in, DO make it clear that you’re asking her out on a real date. You’ve probably got enough friends, so DON’T blow it by tiptoeing around the idea that you’ve asked her out. If you should find yourself in an encounter which you’re not sure is a date, DON’T be shy about clarifying the situation. And, when you’re finally, absolutely, no-doubt-about-it on a real-live, honest-to-gosh date,
DON’T spend the entire evening talking about your ex, or figuring out if she’s “the one,” or even obsessing about whether to give her a kiss at the end of the night. Just kiss her, and then start planning your next date.
Author: Gretchen Lee
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